LOOK FOR THE FLARES: a writing update (ft. snippets and aesthetics)

don't mind me as I change my post banners design once again to find something I like

I was pretty quiet around here through NaNoWriMo, so I didn't share much about my current WIP, Look for the Flares. So, today I thought I'd give you all a bit of an update for this novel, as well as some fun stuff like aesthetics (of course), snippets (!!!!), and whatever else I feel like sharing. Enjoy!!

If you didn't already know, I won NaNoWriMo! *confetti* And yes, it was in my typical fashion of starting strong, dropping off partway through the month and getting thousands of words behind, and then writing like a mad woman the last few days of the month to catch up. But it works somehow. xD 

I wrote a total of 50,024 words in Look for the Flares in November, ending with 51,136 words total (since I technically began writing the first scene of the book before NaNo). Overall, the writing of the book went pretty well, and I probably got less stuck than I have in most previous NaNos. I also wrote at a coffee shop for the very first time, twice actually, and was pretty productive there. 10/10 recommend coffee shop writing!! Definitely want to go back sometime soon. 

Some moments from writing this book: 

- injuring my MC three times... in one scene

- almost making myself cry with my writing (no actual tears were shed but this is the closest I've ever been)

- realizing I'm in love with my MC

- random future scenes and ideas coming to me and getting ridiculously excited (and a bit emotional) about them

I really, really love this story. I'm SO excited for it to be done. My goal after NaNo was to finish it by the end of December, which I quickly realized wasn't going to happen; then my goal was to finish it by the time school started, which, in light of school starting in like a week, isn't going to happen either. xD But I'm okay with it. I'm just excited to be diving back in and losing myself in this world again. I'm officially back at the stage of This Story Is All I Can Think About And I Desperately Miss My Characters While I'm At Work. (do I actually write when I come home from work? shhhh. it's rude to ask questions.)

Now, onto the good stuff: first, some characters aesthetics, and then SNIPPETS! (Telker doesn't have a full set of aesthetics because I don't really know enough about him yet. But I love him. And now I really want to work on his character because he deserves aesthetics.) 

KALAR

silence // piles of unspent money // driven by a decades-old memory // perfect shot // always working // always searching

ADLEY

forced smiles // constant ache // haunted // loyal but it feels wrong // fight the voices that say you're worthless 

TELKER

hugger // vibrant // always helping others, never himself // smile, it makes others smile 

There are more characters, but I'll save those for another time! 

And now onto some snippets!! 

***

One of these days. One of these days he would go to just the right slave auction, buy just the right person, and his search would be over. Kalar and his brother would be together again. 

He never even got a name. 

***

The silent gun sent a bullet soaring through the forest, missing every limb and leaf and hitting its target soundly as if drawn there by a magnet. Kalar saw only the small eruption of blood before dropping his rifle and pressing a button on his tracker. 

"Retrieve," he whispered. 

A few moments later, his transport silently pulled up to the tree he was perched in, and Kalar leapt from branch to branch down to the vehicle. Just before he jumped down, the roof of the transport opened up, receiving him like an old friend. 

"Target eliminated." Jendeen's computerized voice assured Kalar that his job here was done. 

"Great. Thanks, lady." Kalar patted the dashboard and regained control of the transport, turning her around and speeding away from there.

"You're welcome, Kalar." 

***

While she washed the sweat and grime away, Adley ran through her usual lines in her head. Thank you for the invitation. Curtsy. Yes, of course I'm honored to work at my husband's side. Admiring gaze at Kensen. No, I don't want more wine. Thank you. Keep in the rebellious smile at everyone around the table's shock at her amiable behavior toward the slaves serving them. 

***

It took an uncomfortably long time for Mrs. Renham to quiet down and stop laughing. Her face was still red when she looked at Adley and tilted her head. "Now, I don't think I've ever asked you how you met your pretty wife." 

Adley stiffened. Swallowed. Picked up her fork and scratched at her empty plate with the tines, wishing the food would arrive so she could have something to do. Mr. Renham frowned at her unmannerly behavior. 

But Kensen was prepared for this question. He always was. 

"Ah, my favorite story." And a story it was. He draped an arm over Adley's shoulders. "Adley was working in a bar, you see, one of those pretty bartenders. You get lucky and find one every now and then."

Mr. Renham nodded, and something about the look in his eyes made Adley think he would rather be sitting next to one of those bartenders than his own wife. 

"The first time I saw her, I knew I had to have her. So, I snatched her up and carried her home and married her." Another charming wink. Adley grimaced. The story had just enough fantastical romance, just enough edginess, and just enough whimsy for his liking. It was believable while also obviously being an exaggeration, which usually prevented people from asking further. 

At least the "I knew I had to have her" part was true. 

***

A different slave arrived with their dessert. The conversation continued; nobody paid any attention to the young man whatsoever. Adley's blood boiled, and she wanted to smack some consideration into her husband.

The slave placed a place of some sort of confection before her. "Thank you," Adley said loudly. 

A little too loudly, perhaps. The slave seemed startled and rather frightened, but Adley softened her words with a smile. He nodded and walked away. 

But her interjection had done its job. Everyone else at the table was looking at her in surprise. Shock paled the Renhams’ faces, while Kensen mostly looked amused. He was used to these strange outbursts from her. 

Adley gave them all a clueless smile and took a bite of her dessert. 

If they won't be kind, I will. And I'll disturb their perfect little world to do it. 

***

"Adley, what's bothering you?" Kensen tilted his head to look at her again. "You always get so sulky when you go with me on business. What's the issue?"

What was the issue? Surely he was not that stupid. Perhaps Adley had given his brain too much credit. "I didn't think I would have to tell you that slave pickups are not my favorite places to go." Her throat constricted, and she cleared it. Admitting that out loud to Kensen, paired with the memories she wished she could erase, suddenly made her feel very claustrophobic. 

"Aw, baby." He let go of her hand to slide his up her arm and place his hand on the back of her neck in what she was sure he meant to be an affectionately protective motion. All it did was add to her closed-in feeling. "You know it's just the business. It's no big deal. And besides, you don't have to worry about that anymore." He turned to smile at her. "You're married to me, remember?" He let go of controls long enough to lean across the console and kiss her. 

"Kensen!" The transport did not even swerve, but her brain told her they could be rolling down a cliff any moment. 

"Relax." He squeezed the back of her neck, then put both hands back on the controls. "I've got you."

Adley winced. Did he remember that those were the first words he had ever said to her? 

***

"No! No, please don't take him!" 

The words stabbed Kalar in the heart, making him stiffen with unwelcome surprise. A pain shot through his temple, and he leaned on his hand and rubbed his head. The desperate pleas had been among his mother's final words. The last thing she said before her newborn baby was ripped from her arms. 

Kalar closed his eyes, but it did not help to alleviate the pain. He saw his mother's terrified face, the tears spilling onto the floor. Heard the agonizing screams as her baby was taken from her. 

"Kalar, run!" 

Kalar started, sitting up straight and shaking his head to clear it. After twenty-nine years, he could still hear his mother's voice just as clearly as if it were happening now. And with her heartbroken cries, her tearstained face in his mind... he once again strengthened his resolve. 

He owed it to her. He owed it to his father. And he owed it to his brother, to keep trying. Even if the now-grown Raynes child who never even received a name was nowhere in Myrandis... even if his breath had not lasted past the horrible day of his kidnapping... Kalar owed it to his entire family to keep searching. 

***

"Incoming call. Incoming call. Alert. Incoming mission."

Kalar blinked until he was awake, blurriness trying to pull him back into the world of sleep. He pushed aside the dark and got out of bed, reaching for his communicator on the other side of the room. 

"Here." He answered the call, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to make himself alert. 

"Kalar. Please come into the headquarters as soon as you can so we can discuss a new assignment with you." Telker's voice was eager, his eyes on the screen bright.

"Okay..." Kalar raised an eyebrow at the screen. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Uh... not as much as you're not telling me, because I had no idea you looked that messed up at five in the morning." Kalar did not miss the way Telker skirted the question, but he merely gave a lopsided grin and nodded. 

***

"You going down with me?" He got out of bed and pulled a shirt on, peering out the window in the direction of the slave house. He always did that, especially right after he got a new shipment. It was as if just looking at the building and knowing that there were all those people inside that he owned, made him proud. 

"Yes." Adley sat up and hugged her knees to her chest. Of course she was going down with him. She did every morning, but she did not leave until after he was gone. She always wanted the hostages to see her last. It always sounded narcissistic to her when she thought about it that way, but if she was in their place, she certainly would not want the last face she saw every morning and night to be that of the grinning man who had just purchased them and thrown them all in cells. 

Light. She just wanted them to be left with light. To know that they were not alone. 

***

“What’s the matter?” she went on, mockingly. “Does it make you uncomfortable to talk about it? To talk about the fact that each of those people have different colored eyes, and they were all born in different cities, and they all like different kinds of food? You don’t like thinking about those things, do you, the things that add a little bit of humanity to them?” She felt like a wolf, snapping saliva at her victim. Poison dripped from her words. She felt a sickening mix of relief to finally say all this, and nausea at the fact that she was probably just making her life more miserable with every word she said. 

***

As he approached the sound, he saw the woman sitting on the floor with her back to the wall, her face buried in her knees as she wept. Kalar walked toward her slowly. Who was she? Why was she sitting there?

She must have escaped a cell. 

“Miss?” Kalar tried to get her attention gently, as she still had not seemed to notice him. 

She jumped and sat up straight, slamming her palms flat into the floor. “Wh-who are you?” Her voice was hoarse, and her big brown eyes swam with tears. 

Kalar took in a deep breath. He recognized pain when he saw it. “Did you escape?” he asked in a low voice, trying not to bring attention to her. 

She bit her lip and nodded. “You could say that.” She lowered her face and closed her eyes, squeezing them shut and shedding tears all over the floor. 

Kalar was itching to stop standing still and go find his brother, but something kept him drawn into this girl. He could not make himself leave her. Dropping to one knee in front of her, with an arm draped over the other knee, he said softly, “Do you need help?”

She lifted her red, blotchy face, and her gaze locked directly on his. An invisible thread kept them from looking away. Her eyes were wide, but she nodded ever so slightly, and Kalar saw something like wild, reckless hope in her eyes.

***

“What happened to your brother?” she asked softly. 

He glanced over at her in surprise, frowning, then his face softened as he seemed to remember that the commander had mentioned it. “He…” Adley was surprised at how torn up he already seemed to be. His brother must not be dead—or at least not confirmed dead—or he would not be looking for him. But whatever had happened, it clearly bothered Kalar greatly. “He was kidnapped just after he was born. By slave traders.”

Adley’s heart thumped. It all came together in her head. Why this man had been in Kensen’s slave house, appearing to be looking for someone. He had lost his brother to slavery, and he wanted to find him. 

Her heart broke for him. “So you’ve… been looking for him? All this time?”

He clenched his jaw and avoided her gaze. “Yes.”

She swallowed. She had not guessed that this man was as broken as she was. “I’m so sorry.”

He waved a hand dismissively, but she could see the tears glistening in his eyes. “We all have something.”

“No… we don’t all have something like that."

***

Kalar’s window cracked and then shattered. Shards of glass sprayed all over him, and Adley screamed. Kalar’s face stung; he reached up to touch his cheek, and when he pulled his hand away there was blood on it.

“Stay in here!” he yelled. A little excessive, probably, but under no circumstances did he want her to go outside into danger. 

“Where are you going?” She was crying again now as Kalar opened the door. He wondered how she had any tears left. 

“Just stay here!” Kalar grabbed his gun and jumped out of the transport, ignoring the stinging all over his face and left arm. Even his back was now beginning to hurt; somehow the glass had pierced right through his shirt. 

A shadow fell over him when he stepped out onto the road. He heard an engine humming above him, and looked up to see a flying transport hovering a few yards behind. On the ground a few feet away from the driver’s side of his own transport was a hole where the hoverport must have just aimed a shot in warning. 

***

And I think that's enough snippets. Probably more than enough. xD I usually have trouble finding snippets in my first drafts that are good/coherent enough to share. So, I may have gone a little overboard on this one. Ehehe. But this might be the cleanest first draft I've written, which I'm super happy about! I have no doubts that edits will still be challenging (it is me, after all), but I think this story is just overall in better shape than my others have been at this stage. 

Also, I love this story. If I hadn't mentioned that already. 

BUT ANYWAY. I hope you all enjoyed this writing update/peek into my WIP! I truly can't wait to share this story with the world someday. But that means finishing up this post and actually going to write, so I'll end it here. xD 

What are you working on right now, writers? How's your January so far?