Thursday, July 22, 2021

REALM MAKERS 2021


How do you describe something so wildly indescribable? How do you put into words something for which there are no sufficient words to be found? 

It's currently Sunday, July 18th. I just got home from Realm Makers a couple of hours ago. My body wants to sleep but my mind won't rest, and my heart wants to go back and revisit everything that happened this past weekend. This is probably the earliest anyone has ever written a RM recap post, but I just have to do it now, while the emotions are still fresh. 

Realm Makers was amazing. 

No amount of rambling could ever capture the wonder and magic that I experienced this past weekend, but perhaps this post can come close. Read on to hear about my time at Realm Makers 2021, complete with pictures and random, out-of-context quotes. < 3

(fyi, not all of this post or even that intro was written on July 18, but I did start it then)

(prepare for the monster of all monster posts guys I'm so sorry)


Thursday


I live just about an hour and a half away from where Realm Makers was held in St. Louis this year, so we (my brother, sister, and I) didn't have to leave until Thursday morning. It was an easy trip and honestly felt pretty short. I had planned to listen to music (like the RM playlist I had made a day or two earlier), but ended up being so buzzed and excited that I never even thought about it. 

It was the most surreal, exciting feeling pulling up to the Westport Sheraton Chalet, the hotel hosting RM. I'd seen so many pictures from past recap posts, and how everyone always said how beautiful the hotel was, and they were all right! The building itself is so rustic and gorgeous, and the area surrounding it with all the little restaurants made me feel as if I were in a castle courtyard. Quite magical (and the PERFECT atmosphere for a speculative fiction writers conference!). 

Me and my sister with the hotel in the background!

As soon as I walked in I saw Katie Williams, who I follow on Instagram. That was the moment I feel like people always talk about with RM- when you realize, whoa, we're here, in person. These people I've only seen through a screen are actually in the same building with me. 

There were a few minutes of what am I doing here I am an introvert at the start. There were so many people, and I didn't see anyone I really knew yet, and I was just thinking this is going to be awful. I'm going to die inside. But those feelings didn't last long. 

We got our nametags and put stickers on them, which is such a fun little RM thing. You put one sticker on telling how many years you've attended a RM (newbie here hehe), and a different sticker for every genre you write in. I had quite a few. xD Technically I don't think I've actually ever written epic fantasy (dragon sticker), but I took it before I realized there was a guide for what the stickers meant. Oops. (The other stickers are for sci-fi, paranormal, light fantasy, and fairy tales!)


We went to the pre-conference workshop by Michael Anderle, and when I walked in I saw the first person I actually knew- Savannah!! I was too awkward to say hi, though, so I just took my seat and wondered how on earth I was going to socialize this weekend. xD We did eventually see each other and hug and I'm pretty sure I stepped on her foot. (very first Internet friend I meet at RM and I stepped on her foot. oops. sorry, Savannah.) 


"What font should you launch a book in?"

"Comic Sans!!"


"Who has that squirrel mentality: that'd be fun to write, that'd be fun to write- why aren't all of your hands up?!"


"Do you enjoy the amount of hairs on your head at this moment?"


"Ream Makers, assemble!" (this was said as everyone was coming back from a short break, and I just remember getting chills and thinking, whoa. This is it. This is the amazing, geeky Realm Makers community I've always heard about. I'm home.)


I ended up skipping out on what little was left of the workshop after the lunch break, and my siblings and I got settled into our room. A little later we went down to check out the vendor hall, and when I walked in and looked around, I saw Nicole standing in a corner with some other people. 

Cue freakout. 

Cue Nicole tackling me with possibly the best hug of my life that nearly knocked me over. 

Sadly we didn't take any pictures of this moment, but let me tell you it was amazing. I've done so much fangirling with this girl, so much wailing over fictional characters, and meeting her was one of the things I was most excited about this conference. SO glad we got to be there together. < 3 (After I calmed down a bit I realized that the people we were standing by were Hanna, who I don't know very well but is super nice, and Julian and Sarah. Hey, guys. xD)

Shortly after we went in for the opening keynote with Frank Peretti, and let me tell you that he had the whole room laughing almost the entire time. But his talk was such a good reminder to trust God and let Him guide you to where you need to be in His timing, and really set the mood for the rest of the weekend. 


"I guess now I'm coming here to talk to you as an Obi-Wan Kenobi, or something."


"You can turn it over and read about how your fines are overdue."(talking about how he wrote the original manuscript of This Present Darkness on the back of scrap papers at his job)

Frank Peretti!

Oh, and while we were sitting there Nicole pulled out ALL THREE of the anthologies I'm in and asked me to sign them. *tears* And that was the first time I signed anything all conference. In fact... I think that was the first time I've signed anything for someone other than a family member. (and let me tell you, the messages I wrote in each one were so clever and heartfelt. *this is sarcasm I literally had no idea what to write so I put something super lame*)

I think it was after that that I came back out into the vendor hall... and started seeing authors I recognized. Like... Nadine Brandes. *muffled screaming* And Sara Ella. And Ashley Townsend. And Mary Weber. (you guys, Mary Weber was there!!! she wasn't going to be but then made it in last minute!) Again, I was too shy to say hi, so I just kind of watched them from afar like a creeper. xD It was so fun seeing these ladies together. (I witnessed the moment when Kara Swanson first ran up to Nadine and tackled her in a hug, so that was great.) 

We actually missed the new-attendee orientation, because we decided to go to Fuzzy's for dinner. (aka, something I was very much looking forward to xD) Um... yeah, big mistake. The place was PACKED. Like, almost shoulder-to-shoulder crowded. The food was worth it, honestly, once we finally got it, but lesson learned: don't go to Fuzzy's during RM if you're in a hurry. xD

That night was one of the events I was the most excited about- Kara Swanson's launch party for Shadow!! I'm just SO happy this happened, because I had been thinking a little while before the conference that since Shadow released the same week, there should be a launch party there to celebrate. I'm glad they read my mind. ;)

Shadow release party!!

There weren't a ton of people there, so we all got to sit pretty close to the front, which is good because there may have been candy-throwing involved. XD Nadine Brandes and Sara Ella were special guests, and you could tell they just had so much fun together. 

When it ended, I debated way too long on whether or not I should take that time to go up and meet the authors and get some books signed. (I was lugging around a decent-sized duffel bag packed with books. not a good idea, but necessary. XD) I spent about 6 years standing there gathering up the nerve to do it, then finally got in the line going up across the front of the room. (and while in line I met Cassie!! < 3)

I spent remarkably little time preparing what I was going to say once I got up there (and Nadine was the closest- aka, only my favorite author who I've been dreaming of meeting forever), and then- OOPS NOW IT'S MY TURN AND I'M WALKING UP TO NADINE BRANDES WITH NO WORDS PLANNED. (I'm one of those people who has to rehearse my restaurant orders, guys) But I said hi and handed her A Time to Die and she looked at my nametag and smiled and said, "I know you!!" And I said, "I know you, too!!!" And we both laughed and there we go. Ice broken. And since the ice was broken, I went ahead and pulled out the other two Out of Time books for her to sign (because, oh hey, talking to people isn't as terrifying as I always think *mind blown*). I also took that opportunity to tell her how much Parvin means to me and how much I relate to her. < 3 


Next I had Kara Swanson sign Dust and Shadow (can we just appreciate Kara's gorgeous jacket??). 


I unfortunately had not thought to bring Coral down with me, so I didn't get to talk to Sara Ella that night. But I had brought my copy of the Rising Shadows trilogy with me, and spent about another 8 years trying to work up the nerve to go up to Ashley Townsend and have her sign them. (being the awkward bean that I am, I didn't want to go up to someone while they were talking to someone else, and I was terrified that I would say hi to someone I knew online only for them to not recognize me, and... yeah. don't be like me, guys. xD) Finally, I made my way up there, and she immediately hugged me and we sat on the floor together while she signed my books and just chatted for a while. Ashley's just the kind of person you can't help but smile around. < 3



Finally, at I think close to eleven o'clock (we Realmies party hard, y'all), my sister and I went up to our room. I was on such a high after such a fantastic day. (I was literally just sitting in a chair smiling at one point and my brother laughed and said, "Just thinking about what a wonderful day you had?" and I was like "Yeah, pretty much." XD)

I literally could not have asked for a better first day. I could hardly believe it was just the beginning of the weekend.


Friday


I woke up before my alarm went off because I was just too pumped to sleep, I guess. xD At the morning announcements, we witnessed a very interesting skit involving Andrew Winch (editor of Havok Publishing) using a pen as a blaster in defense against SD Grimm. XD And I'll just leave it at that. (PEW-PEW-PEW!!)


Our first session was Allen Arnold's Creative Lightning (the first part of our continuing session), and his classes were so encouraging! I took pages and pages of notes- there was just so much good stuff to glean from his words. I love how he talks about creators working together WITH God, and how God loves creativity.

Next was my first class with Nadine Brandes (because of COURSE I signed up for every one of hers): "How to Pitch Your Book Without Sounding Like a Robot." I didn't pitch anything at RM, but I enjoyed learning from Nadine's experience on the matter. 

We went to Fuzzy's again for lunch (ordered online this time, muahaha xD so we didn't have to wait nearly as long), and this was time #1 that day that I stuffed myself with food right before I was nervous about something. (I'm smart, guys. Super smart.) More on that later. xD

mmmm

After lunch was Nadine's second class, "The Story Behind Your Story". This was possibly one of my favorites. She talked about how simply living makes you a better storyteller, and how your life can help you strengthen your writing and draw people in. I'm still a little bit in awe at how she opened the class up- with a story about a house she used to live in that had a room strictly off-limits to the kids. One day she found the key and sneaked in and found the room full of old books, and that was where she discovered Lord of the Rings and all kinds of other fantastic stories. After she told that story she pointed out that because she lived it, she was able to express the emotions and suspense that she experienced, and make us feel them too, rather than just saying "there was a locked room and when I went all I found was a bunch of old books." And I just sat there like... huh. She's right. xD 

Okay, sooo up next was the Thing that I was nervous about and unwisely full of tacos for. xD Months ago, I had scheduled a critique appointment with Andrew Winch. (I mentioned it a while back- I chose to send in the first ten pages of Once Upon, Trentley and Jynnia's story!) I was looking forward to it, but also inexplicably nervous. No, it wasn't a pitch, so there was no reason to be nervous, really. But conversation is not my strong point (particularly with new people), and I was terrified of running out of things to talk about in our thirty-minute session and things getting awkward. (I know. It's dumb. xD) I had received the critiqued pages back weeks ago, so in my mind, what were we going to talk about if I already knew what he had to say?? If he asked me any questions, what would I do if I didn't have any?? (I'm 100% the person who will say I have no more questions even if I have fifteen.)

ANYWAY. We ended up getting out of that last session a little early, which was good because it gave me a little more time to collect myself and be slightly less panicked for my meeting. (I said slightly.) I waited until almost the last minute (always a great plan) and finally went down to the meeting room. 

You guys, the people at RM are awesome. I walked in and Andrew greeted me and I sat down and just like that, I knew I was going to be fine. He was so nice and easy to talk to and though I started out a little uncertainly, it didn't take long to get into a good conversation, and some more questions I hadn't thought of before just naturally came up. He gave me some great feedback on my story, which answered some questions I had been having, and YOU GUYS. He seemed like he really genuinely enjoyed my story. So proud of my babies Trentley and Jynnia. *weeps* 

I had him sign the Warriors Against the Storm anthology, which he edited; and then I left with a smile on my face. So relieved to have the appointment over and so happy with the talk we'd had!

After that was the second Creative Lightning session, and then it was time to get ready for... *drumroll* THE AWARDS BANQUET. AKA, that one event that I feel everyone would come to RM for even if that was the only thing that happened all weekend. 

AND NOW FOR THE COSTUME REVEAL. (even though some of you have probably already seen it on Instagram) I went to the costume banquet as... 


PEGGY CARTER! 

I'd been planning this for months (once I finally nailed down what I wanted to do- I had like 4 things I was trying to decide between xD), and it was so fun to be Peggy for an evening! (besides the 30-something bobby pins in my hair... #longhairproblems) My sister went as Eowyn, and my brother went as Clark Kent. (he very cleverly turned his RM lanyard around and made the other side into a Daily Planet press pass) 

betcha never thought you'd see Peggy Carter, Eowyn, and Clark Kent take a mirror selfie together now didya

You guys. I've heard about this costume dinner from so many people over the past few years, and MY GOODNESS. Walking downstairs into the middle of everyone was literally like walking into another world. All the different costumes, and all the excitement, and the smiles, and the pictures being taken... it was just incredible. Almost like stepping through the wardrobe into Narnia. It was SO exciting being right there in the middle of everything instead of reading about it on a screen. (Unfortunately we got there a little late, so I didn't get to take very many pictures before we went into the banquet hall and they turned the lights out.)


Ashley as a Ravenclaw Rapunzel

Nicole as a character from Attack on Titan (which I've never seen but she sure looks cool XD)

We sat at a table with Nicole, Hanna, Sarah, and Julian (along with a couple other people I didn't know), which was so fun!! It took a little while for the dinner to start coming out, so I just sat there admiring all the costumes. 

Nicole: "Emily, look, there's a Howl and Sophie."

Me: "Oh, cool. I've never read the book, though, so I don't really know what they look like." 

Nicole: "Yeah, Christine could tell you more about that." XD Christine, your legacy has been successfully formed

Remember earlier when I ate a bunch of food right before something I was nervous about? Well, here's time #2 in one day. xD My story, The Hero of Parker City, was a finalist in the (new!) Flash Fiction category, so the whole time I just sat there full of food and palms sweating and waiting for the winner to be announced and it was just an all around good time. 

My story didn't win (which meant that I DIDN'T have to throw together an acceptance speech in the time it would have taken me to walk up to the stage XD), but I did get a super cool finalist medallion!! And it was worth it just to hear my name being read off with all the other awesome finalists. 

With my finalist pin!

this cheesecake was seriously good

Also, Kara Swanson won two awards for Dust (plus the cover award), which made me so happy! I teared up when they announced Dust as the winner the first time. Dust is a special story and I'm so glad I got to be there to celebrate. < 3

On the way out of the banquet that night, I had to stop the guy who came as Captain America and ask him for a picture. I mean... of COURSE I did. Was Peggy Carter going to let Cap leave without a picture?? 

don't ask me why Peggy Carter brought her purse to battle Hydra

Before everyone left, Nicole, Sarah, Julian, and another lady I don't know got together to play/sing "In Dreams" from Lord of the Rings, and it was BEAUTIFUL. I got it on video, though I was standing behind some people holding the camera up in the air so the quality wasn't the best. But the moment was amazing. (and made me cry when I watched the video again.)

Saturday

the first of only two cups of coffee that I had the whole weekend... who am I?? (and why do I look asleep?)

Saturday came, and cue the sadness, because it was the last official day of the conference. First up was opening announcements (and "#thingsoverheardatrealmmakers, because that's a thing and I love it xD) and a Q&A with Frank Peretti. 

"I'm at Realm Makers, and you're asking me about flying slugs??"

Next was the very last Creative Lightning class. (I definitely want to read all of Allen Arnold's books now!) 

While I was in that session, I realized Mary Weber was in the back of the room. She'd been hanging around here and there, but I hadn't actually met her yet, so as soon as the session was over I took off toward the back (I had no idea when she'd be leaving and I didn't want to miss the chance to talk to her!). 

I had to wait a few minutes while a couple of other people chatted with her, and I felt a little bad because she was obviously getting ready to leave and probably go for lunch. But eventually, we were the only ones left in the room (other than a sound guy xD), and she hugged me and said she recognized my name and was just the sweetest thing. Since I didn't have any of her books with me, I had her sign my copy of Warriors Against the Storm, and we took a picture together. (I was all ready to tell her that I had a story in it, and how happy I was to have been a part of it, but all my words went out the window when she knew who I was and were replaced by incoherence, I think.)


Unfortunately after this, the day slipped downhill a bit, at least for a while. We had signed up for a faculty lunch, and ended up sitting at a table with Michael and Judith Anderle, Lauren Brandenburg, and a few other people. It was nice, and the food was great (I seriously feel like I ate SO much on this trip), but as I sat there I realized I wasn't enjoying myself, and that I really needed to leave. So I ducked out and went back up to our room for a few minutes just to have quiet and be alone. 

I don't know what happened here. Maybe it was my introvert self getting overwhelmed and over-people-d and just desperately needing time away, after being around crowds for several days. Maybe it was an attack from Satan on my happiness, in an attempt to bring me down and ruin the rest of the weekend. I also think it was partly the reality hitting me that the conference was almost over. But whatever it was, I just hung out in the room for a bit, breathed deep, and prayed, until I felt ready to go back down again. 

Then it was time for Nadine's last class, "Writing for the Market vs. Writing for Your Heart". Fantastic, of course, and not exactly what it sounds- she talked about how sometimes, you need to work your way through a project that maybe you're not feeling, in order to get to a project that you're more passionate about; that's how it was for her with Fawkes

Millie Florence, Nicole, me, and Savannah in Nadine's class!

"Now she puts toilet paper in my purse."


After that class I went up to Sara Ella and had her sign Coral for me, and got a picture with her. 

Ashley: "I don't know why I need to do the cartoon owl thing every time I take a picture- one! t-two! th-three!!"


Next was Sharon Hinck's "Faith-filled Fantastical Fiction". Very good, and also rather sad because it was the last class. :(

I was feeling a little better by Frank Peretti's closing keynote that night, though by that time I was just starting to feel so TIRED. My sleep deprivation was finally catching up to me, and also sadness that the weekend was coming to an end. 

After the keynote, Lauren Brandenburg closed it out with the official goodbye, and then Scott and Becky Minor got up to say a few words. Can we all just give a big ol' round of applause to this couple?? There have been SO. MANY. PEOPLE blessed by them and their hard work in making this conference happen every year, and I'll never get over how grateful I am for that. I was already getting emotional, and then as we were all walking out the Shire music started playing?? And just?? No, that's not okay?? Who was trying to sabotage my emotions and make me curl up in a puddle and die?? (yes, I know the Shire music is upbeat and cheery- but it makes me so melancholy for some reason and I just want to weep when I hear it xD)

I had planned to go up to my room until the book festival that night, in hopes of taking a little nap. But I ended up getting invited me to go with a small group of Realmies to Panera for dinner, so I did that instead. And I'm SO glad I did. First of all, I hadn't really gotten a chance to hang out with any of the other Realmies more than one or two at a time yet, so I was glad this opportunity came up kind of at the last minute. But also, I think it was just what I needed to bring me out of my glum mood. I went with Savannah, Nicole, Cassie, Hanna, and a couple of other girls I hadn't met yet, and we just talked and laughed and it was the greatest time. Then there was a bit of an anthology-signing session, when Cassie pulled out hers for me to sign, and then Hailey Huntington happened by and passed around her Warriors Against the Storm to be signed. 

Savannah and Hailey accidentally recreating the Spider-man meme XD



seriously guys I ate so much food (but this mediterranean bowl was the bomb)


With Cassie!

me signing a Havok anthology- props to Nicole for sneakily capturing this xD

The final thing that day was the book festival/signing!! AKA, the time when everybody's crowded into the vendor hall buying last-minute books and then flooding into the big room where everyone was signing books. And guys... this was actually the first time I bought anything all weekend. And the ONLY time I bought a book. o_o I wanted to make sure to get Windward Shore so I could have Sharon Hinck sign the whole trilogy for me, and somehow that was the ONLY book I bought. (I'm not sure if this is good or bad. xD) BUT I did buy some super cool Dust/Shadow goodies!! I got a comic tote bag, three candles, and a pin, and I'm very much excited about all of it. xD


And now, have a photo dump of all the pictures I took with people. xD

With Jenna Terese!

With Sarah Rodecker!

H.S.J Williams!

Sharon Hinck!

Lindsay Franklin!

With fellow Warriors Against the Storm author Emily Hayse!


Frank Peretti! He thought it was so funny that I had an ancient hardcover copy of The Door in the Dragon's Throat. XD

I went up to Nadine one last time because I couldn't leave without letting her know how glad I was that I got to meet her. I'm pretty sure I mushed my words together and was terribly awkward, but I got to say goodbye and hug her so it was worth it. 

A little later I found Ashley talking to someone and realized it was Liz Koetsier, someone else I follow on Instagram! It's so fun to get to meet all these faces you've only seen on a screen, even if you don't know them well. 

With Ashley and Liz (stole this from Ashley's IG muahaha)

I got to talk to Ashley for a while after that, which I'm glad for because we ended up missing each other on our way out the next day. One weekend is just too, short guys. And there are so many people I didn't get the chance to talk to much or even get a picture with. #sadness


"You're wired again now? Slap me!" 


Oh, and a big shoutout to my brother for following me around like a pack horse carrying all the books I'd gotten signed so the book bag I was carrying wasn't quite so heavy. XD (I carried SO many books around at RM, guys. My shoulder was so sore.)

I finally got Cassie to sign my anthologies for me later that night (after not having them with me the last couple times I saw her xD)! (We hijacked Jason Joyner's table for a minute, but I don't think he minded. xD) I also made sure to get a picture with Andrew Winch, and I had Elizabeth Lewis and Lisa Godfrees sign my anthologies. (shoutout to every author who was so gracious when I walked up to them with a stack of books for them to sign xD) It was so fun meeting some of the Havok gang!! They're amazing. (I also got to meet Steve Rzasa, who I don't think is with Havok anymore but he helped edit The Hero of Parker City back it was first published!)

With Andrew Winch!


By this time, my sadness had totally moved on. (I mean, other than the natural "it's almost over" sadness".) I was hyped and didn't want to go to bed and had to keep refocusing my attention to getting everything packed up, because we had to check out by noon the next day and the post-conference workshop was at 10. 

Sunday


*deep breath* 

We packed up all our stuff, loaded it into the car, and checked out. We were staying for the post-con workshop, but it was so bittersweet, because I knew the conference was officially over. I saw Savannah on my way in, which ended up being the last time because she was already gone when the post-con was over. (I also stepped on her foot again. Go figure.)

Close to the end of the workshop I started feeling really off (physically this time, not so much mentally). Again, I'm not really sure what it was. Maybe the fact that I'd forgotten to take my medication most of the weekend (which, long story short, keeps me from passing out XD). But I started feeling a little lightheaded and strange, so I stepped out a few minutes early and went out to the lobby to eat something. 

That's when it started to hit, I think, that it was really over. I realized that I'd missed saying goodbye to a couple people. And Nicole was there talking to me and my brother while we waited for the workshop to end (where my sister still was), and I knew it was just a few minutes until I'd have to say goodbye to her, too. 

Finally, it was time, and I hugged Nicole and Cassie and told them goodbye, and I walked out to the car, and I lost it. Between already feeling cruddy and overwhelming sadness sinking in, it wasn't the most pleasant ride home. I cried almost the whole way. Leaving Realm Makers behind was one of the hardest things I've ever done, because Realm Makers was one of the best times I've ever had. It's indescribably hard leaving people you've just spent a whole weekend connecting with, growing to love even more, and not knowing when you'll get to see them again. 

Everything you've heard about Realm Makers is true. It's home. It's where Christian spec-fic writers can find their tribe. It's where you can walk through a room and hear conversations about The Hobbit and writing and everything in between going on all around you. It's where you feel like you belong. It's where you can be weird and fangirl and learn about writing but at the same time, and most importantly, learn how to draw closer to God. 

Realm Makers is an absolutely incredible place, filled with incredible people. I desperately hope and pray that I'll be able to make it back sooner, rather than later. 

To everyone I met at Realm Makers: You're amazing. I miss you. Let's do this again. 

I do want to say something else before I end this leviathan of a post: if you haven't made it to a Realm Makers yet and really want to, don't give up! A couple years ago I almost got to go but it just didn't work out, and I was so sad as I saw all the photos of everyone getting there and having a great time. I was happy for them but also frustrated that I was missing out. (especially when the 2020 location was announced for New Jersey)

Pray. Save money. Even if it's not meant to happen for you this year (or next year, or whenever), that doesn't mean it won't happen. And trust me when I say, the waiting is worth it. < 3 


“How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back?"

I feel very much like a hobbit returned from a grand adventure. It's good to be home, comfortable and safe... but at the same time, I feel like I won't ever be the same. Belonging is hard to come by, and though it may sound dramatic to say so, I've struggled with it most of my life. Now, here I am, back to the daily life that can so easily wear a person down... and I'm longing for the magic I left behind.

I'm so blessed to have this online community, who is so kind, supportive, and always down to fangirl. There are few people in my life who quite get me when it comes to my passion for stories and fictional characters, so being able to hop onto IG or the blogosphere and see others who feel that passion, too, is so important to me. At Realm Makers, I got to have those people around me physically, and there's just no way to describe how amazing that was.

It's a bit discouraging to come back from a place like that into a world where you feel mostly alone as a creator. Support and fellowship are two appreciated, but very different things, and fellowship with other writers is like the food our creative souls need to keep going.

Thanks to Realm Makers, I got to have that in person, if only for a short weekend. Now I'll cling to those connections I can still have online, and to the Ultimate Creator, Who gave me this passion and will always be there for fellowship no matter what. < 3


WHEW. Uh... so sorry for that. This is... quite probably the longest post I'll ever write. xD But RM deserves it, and I hope you guys enjoyed this recap! I'm excited to put all that I learned last weekend into practice, and see where this wild writing journey takes me. < 3


(and hey, maybe along the way I'll figure out how to end a post without making it awkward)


Have you been to a Realm Makers conference before, or do you plan on going in the future? What's your favorite thing about writers conferences? And hey, since it's somehow still Camp NaNo- how are your projects going? 



Thursday, July 8, 2021

WHY THE RAMONA AND BEEZUS MOVIE MEANS SO MUCH TO ME


I recently rewatched the movie Ramona and Beezus for about the millionth time, and was reminded of just how much I love it. I think it's one of the most rewatchable movies I've ever seen. 

In case you've never seen it... based on the Beezus and Ramona books by Beverly Cleary, it's about 9-year-old Ramona Quimby, who tries her best to help her family and be herself but always seems to get into trouble. Her older sister Beezus (the nickname accidentally given to Beatrice when Ramona was a baby) doesn't always help much either- of course she and Ramona love each other, but it seems Ramona's always getting on Beezus's nerves.


Even though this movie seems like just a cutesy, feel-good family film... it means so much more than that to me. And today I want to talk about why I love it so much. 

First of all, it's about family. It highlights the cozy, special times that families have together, and takes me back to my childhood. I love being at home, and this movie embodies that safe, beautiful feeling of being in the four walls of your home making memories with people you love. (And the Quimby family is ridiculously likeable- I absolutely love every member, and of course Aunt Bea and Uncle Hobart. You couldn't have asked for a better cast.)

also Ginnifer Goodwin looks sooo pretty in this movie

Have you ever gotten that feeling when something happens that's really simple, but for some reason, so very beautiful and special? And you long to experience it again the next time there's a chance, but there's just no planning these moments. They fall into place and you don't know when they'll come again. Maybe I'm the only one who really takes note of these things... but it's one of my favorite things ever. Like... when it snows and you're watching movies with your sisters and maybe you've done it a million times before, but for whatever reason this time there was just this feeling that you wish you could capture and hold onto forever. I don't know if this makes sense at all, because I can't really put it into words. 

But to me, that's what this whole movie feels like. From Ramona and Howie playing in the hole in her house, to Ramona drawing the biggest picture in the world with her dad while home sick from school, to Ramona and Beezus arguing at home alone until something happens that brings them together and makes them stop fighting. It's just like a chain of those moments that are so bittersweet, you wish you could relive them, because you feel like you might not ever get that feeling again. 



I was a teenager when I first watched it, but after a while I realized just how much I related to Ramona. As the youngest child, I often felt the same way she did. (she does have a baby sister in the movie, but she clearly hasn't been around very long, and Ramona still seems very much the youngest child.) She honestly reminds me so much of how I was when I was a kid.

She has big ideas that don't work out. Her fashion sense is similar to how I would have dressed at that age. (and hers is honestly better- one time my mom let me leave the house in a red turtleneck, a yellow vest, and a black bejewelled sock cap. I still can't get over how horrendous I didn't realize I looked.) She tries to do grown-up things and help out but is stopped by her big sister and others telling her that she can't. 

Honestly? I'm having a hard time putting how much this movie means into words, because I guess it's hard putting your feelings into words. There were a whole lot of times as a kid when I felt lonely and unneeded, just like Ramona did. My siblings were all so much older than me that I had trouble relating to them, and it seemed they never wanted to do the things I wanted to do. I couldn't seem to grow up fast enough, because then maybe I'd be seen and fit in with the rest of my family. 

One scene in particular really hits hard- when Ramona falls through the attic floor and causes a big scene in the middle of her family's open house. Her dad tells her, "It's time to grow up!" and she says, "Can't you see I'm trying?!" To which her dad responds, "You need to try harder!" 

Now, her dad is fantastic and he obviously didn't mean to hurt her. But words like that do hurt. I've been there. My whole life, it seems. Being the youngest, and having most of the important people in your life in different seasons than you, is hard, and I think sometimes people in those situations are treated a little unfairly. 

At the end there's a scene where Ramona decides she's going to run away. (has every kid has this thought at least once in their lives? I know I did, though I never in a million years would have had the guts to do it. xD) Her mom walks in on her packing her suitcase and decides to help her out, then puts a scarf on her, makes her promise to write, and sends her out the door all alone. Ramona then walks down her street crying, a poignant Taylor Swift song starts playing, and my heart breaks for this poor little girl. 

Long story short  (spoiler alert, if you haven't seen it), she ends up at the bus station realizing that her mom packed her suitcase with heavy items so she wouldn't be able to go very far, and her family is right behind her in the car. The following reunion is possibly one of the most heartwarming movie scenes I've ever watched. The family share a hug and Mrs. Quimby says "I'd be just lost without my Ramona." 

And Ramona realizes just how much she's loved and needed by her family. Something every child should be assured of. 


I don't really know what else I can say. But this movie is just SUCH  beautiful, relatable representation of what it's like to be a kid, and be frustrated, and try your hardest only for things to go wrong. It's a soft, homey movie that reminds you how special it is to be little and make carefree memories with your family, and makes you want to go back to those days. It shows that kids can be unhappy even when their life and family seem perfect, and that everyone needs to be reminded that they're loved and given a bit of extra affection now and then. 

I wish I could say exactly how this movie makes me feel, but I suppose that's why it's so special to me- it just strikes something deep within me that I can't explain, and perhaps nobody else feels quite the same way. But this movie will forever be one of my favorite comfort movies- perhaps my favorite, as I've watched it time and time again- and I love it so much. < 3


Don't you just love those movies that give you warm fuzzies and that you could watch once a week and never tire of? This was kind of a different post, but I knew when I rewatched this movie the other day that it was something I wanted to talk about. I hope you guys enjoyed it! < 3

AND hey, a heads up: there won't be a post next week, because... *deep breath* I'LL BE AT REALM MAKERS!! I have NO idea how it's already here, but I'm so excited! (Prayers would be appreciated- particularly for my critique appointment I'm stressing about for no reason.) 

ALSO, even if you're not attending the conference in-person or virtually, the Realm Awards ceremony is being streamed live for the public! So, if you're interested in watching, I believe it'll be available on their Facebook page. (I don't think you would need a Facebook account to watch?) You might catch a glimpse of me in my costume (which has not yet been disclosed to you ;)), or my story "The Hero of Parker City" being read off as a Flash Fiction finalist! (which still hasn't quite sunk in, I don't think? *gulps*)

ANYWAY, I hope you all are having a fantastic July so far, and I can't wait to see some of you at Realm Makers!! *CONFETTI*

What are some of your favorite comfort movies? Have you seen Ramona and Beezus? Is there a movie that you relate to deeply? And if you're a veteran Realmie- any advice for a first-time attendee? 


Thursday, July 1, 2021

THE MUSIC OF ONCE UPON (meet my wip's playlist)


What happens when you forget that you switched posting days? 


You also forget to write a post, and realize you're going to have to post it last minute. THEN you don't post it at all because you've spent hours working on your blog design (*coughcough*) and are sick of looking at a screen. THEN the next week you forget AGAIN that you need to post, and end up still posting late.


Me. I did all that. xD Bear with me, folks, I don't do change well.


BUT ANYWAY. That is not the topic of this post- it's actually much more fun. (At least, I think so.)


I recently read through my current WIP, Once Upon, and wrote down pages and pages of revision notes. It was SUCH  fun time going through it and reliving the story and falling in absolute LOVE with these characters again because did I mention that I LOVE THEM?? (I don't know what it is, y'all. but these characters are my babies and I can't get over how much I love them.)


If you know me, you know that I LOVE making music playlists to go along with each of my stories. And since I'm working on Once Upon right now and this music has been on my mind, I thought I'd share a few of the songs from my playlist- as well as their meaning to the story and some of my favorite lyrics! 



"Happily Ever After" by Jordan Fisher and Angie Keilhauer


Okay, first of all, this song is seriously awesome and you need to listen to it ASAP. 


It fits this story SO well, because Once Upon (as well as the whole series it's the beginning of) is all about rediscovering the magic of fairy tales, embracing the reality that they exist, and- of course- happily ever afters. One of my favorite lines of the song just about gives me chills: "The battles, the stories, the losses and all the glories..." Because that's what Trentley and Jynnia are experiencing. They're learning firsthand about all the wonderful things that happened years ago in fairy tales. They're seeing history come to life.


This song could be the theme to this entire series. 


"Ever Ever After" by Carrie Underwood


I mean, of course. "Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true..." Again, that could be the theme song of the whole story. And then "Deep down inside, we want to believe they still do." That's Jynnia. She hears the stories of how magic may have existed in the past, how fairy tales may have actually happened, and she hopes and believes with all her heart that they actually did, because what a wonder that would be.


"Never Gonna Let You Down" by Colbie Caillat


The great thing about this story is that I can include love songs in the playlist! Most of my books don't have a romance at the forefront, so I never really need any love songs. It's been really fun putting them into this one.


While this particular song doesn't strictly have to be a love song, it works so well for Trentley and Jynnia. They're always there for each other; they complement each other and build each other up. This is such a sweet song of putting your all into a relationship and it makes me smile when I think Trentley and Jynnia. 


"Today Was A Fairytale" by Taylor Swift


Again... of COURSE this had to be on the list. Because not only is it fairy tale-themed, but it's a sweet love song that just makes me want to write allll the Trentley and Jynnia scenes. 


"Speechless" by Naomi Scott


You guys know how much I love this song from THIS post, so I was happy to be able to include it in this playlist. It works because this book is the springboard to a whole series where Trentley and Jynnia are trying to show the injustice of magic being outlawed, and doing what they can to bring it back to life. Jynnia is quite spunky and outspoken, so it's safe to say that she doesn't often go speechless; this song was a perfect addition to represent her passion for what she's fighting for and her determination to make a change. If Jynnia has a theme song, this is it.


1000 Years by KT Tunstall and Bleu


This one just about gives me chills. Again, it's a love song, so of course it's for Trentley and Jynnia. But what makes it so perfect for this story is the theme of a thousand years. No, that particular number isn't a theme in the story... but it's about fairy tales resurfacing after many years of being hidden in the past. It's about not letting their legends die because people are afraid of magic. And it's about Trentley and Jynnia's love lasting through trials and tribulations. 


So, this song is a beautiful promise that Trentley and Jynnia's love will last forever, and in 1000 years, perhaps people will be telling their story just as they do the fairy tale romances of old. 


Remember Me by Ivan Torrent


I've mentioned this song before. It's super beautiful, first of all, and I've come to love Ivan Torrent's music because it's so dreamy and epic and magical all at the same time- and it's great to write to. 


This song in particular is so perfect because the lyrics are a plea to remember the past. "Once upon a time there was a charming prince..." "Please remember it..." I mean, come on. How could this not be on this playlist? 



And that's it! There are a bunch of other songs on this playlist, but I could talk about them forever so I won't go there. xD If you haven't heard any of these songs, go listen to them!! This playlist is so fun and magical, and really gets me excited about this story. Funny thing, though... I rarely actually listen to it while I'm writing. Every now and then I will, but lately I've been needing to listen to just music when I write, because lyrics distract me. xD So, usually I'll end up listening to it when I'm driving to and from work (which results in a long, miserable day of missing my characters). 


Speaking of the story... happy Camp NaNoWriMo! July's Camp sneaks up on me every. year, and I was completely unprepared. Hehe. This month I'll be working on... you guessed it... Once Upon! It's time for revisions, so me and my pages of notes are going to become real good friends these next few weeks. (or enemies. I mean, it could go either way.)


And one more thing... *casually points up* I redid my blog header! And renamed my blog! *confetti* 


I LOVED "The Ones That Really Matter". It came straight from of my favorite books, from the mouth of one of my absolute favorite fictional characters. 



But... it was time to let it go. (Sort of.) I wanted a tagline that was a little more original, and I wanted to make my name more prominent on my blog. (which sounds super narcissistic but you guys know what I mean. xD) I came up with "Words That Really Matter" as a way to keep my original tagline alive, while also putting my own spin on it. We're all writers and/or readers here- so I don't think I need to explain to you all what I mean by words mattering. And since this blog is like a big conglomeration of things that matter to me, I think it's fitting. I hope you guys like it too! < 3


I hope you all have a most lovely July! Let me know if you're doing Camp NaNoWriMo! *cheers you on anyway*


Do you make writing playlists? Do you listen to them when you write or at other times? Any recommendations for great writing music? And who's doing Camp NaNo? Tell me about your project!