GHOST HORSE (Reacting to my first published story!)

Good Thursday to ye! *tips hat*

Okay, I literally have no idea why I just opened the post that way. But I did, so... that's a thing that happened.

I'm really excited about today's post; it's a fun one. Today I'm going to be reacting to an old short story of mine: more specifically, the first thing I ever had published! I totally, 100% stole this idea from Kara Lynn.

I wrote this story when I was eleven. ELEVEN. That was TEN years ago, guys. i'mnotoldi'mnotoldi'mnot

Anyway, like I said, this was the first story of mine that was published. It was in the November/December 2010 issue of StoneSoup Magazine, and boy was I proud of it. alittleprouderthanitdeservedmayhaps I thought it'd be super fun to react to it and let you guys in on all the painfulness.

Well... there's really nothing else I can say to ease you guys into this. So here we go, jumping right in. My present-day comments will be in ORANGE. (be prepared for a looooot of orange.)

***

Ghost Horse original title, for sure.

Thunder roared. Lightning split the sky. Leeto's what the heck kind of name is Leeto, though? mane flapped it flapped? what is it, an American flag? in the harsh wind. The man's what man??? silver arrow glimmered every time lightning struck. He shot at Leeto. The arrow struck Leeto's leg. loving the choppy sentences At the same time, lightning struck Leeto's hide. Leeto's eyes widened. how many times can I say "Leeto" in one paragraph?

lol one paragraph in and I'm already hacking this thing to pieces

Leeto was a special horse. All horses with his blood as in, his descendants, or? were called ghost horses. Ghost horses were magical. They were the only animals-- or living creatures-- to become ghosts after death. okay, this is still a pretty cool concept. for an eleven-year-old.

But there were only two ways for a ghost horse to die. One was for two ghost horses to fight, which was rare. spoiler alert: two ghost horses don't fight in this story. SO WHY DID I FIND IT NECESSARY FOR THAT TO BE A WAY FOR A GHOST HORSE TO DIE?? But even rarer was the other way-- for a ghost horse to be struck by an arrow and lightning at the same time. that's not convoluted at all.

Right now, Leeto's life was fading away. good.

      ***

Leah yawned and made her way downstairs. wow, great entrance. can't wait to see more of this protagonist. A bowl of oatmeal and juice I mean, I like cinnamon in my oatmeal personally, but whatever floats your boat. (or your oats. XD XD) were waiting for her. okay... so not only did her parents leave for work without telling her goodbye, but her mom left her oatmeal out on the table to get cold. and she even poured the orange juice in the bowl to speed up the process. Leah sat down and took a big sip of juice. must have been chunky with all those oats in it. Suddenly, she heard a sound-- something like hooves against metal. can we talk about the fact that she immediately recognized what SPECIFICALLY was making the sound?? what on earth made her come to the conclusion that it was hooves against metal??

Leah ran outside. A pure-black horse was standing next to the shed. Gasping, Leah drank in the sight. hope you didn't get any oats in that drink. The horse's coat was silkier than any she had ever seen. His mane and tail were longer than she knew possible. The horse was a gorgeous sight.

Slowly, Leah walked toward the horse. She grabbed a rope from the shed and looped it around his neck. "You beautiful thing," Leah whispered, stroking his velvet nose. "Where'd you come from?"
At that moment, Leah was very glad that no one else was home. why??? is her dad a horse butcher or something??

      ***

"Come on, boy," Leah urged. "Get in." She held the door to the shed in the woods why the heck is there a shed in the woods?? open and finally got the horse to step inside.

Then she noticed it. Right on the stallion's forehead was a white marking, shaped like an arrow. okay, so apparently death by an arrow causes the shape of an arrow to appear on your forehead. so if you die by fighting another ghost horse does the other horse appear on your forehead?? "I guess that settles it, then," Leah said in a low voice. reading this back, this line always sounds ominous. why is her voice so low all of the sudden? "Your name is Arrow."

      ***

"How was school today, Leah?" Mrs. Koble this is the weirdest last name. I literally made it up. why didn't I just use Brown or something? asked at dinner.

"Um, fine," Leah said. "We learned four-digit division."

Mr. Koble laughed. "I remember the good old fours. brace yourself, this guy's way too enthustiastic about schoolwork. Did you have any problems?"

Leah stared at her beans. I can't ever read this line and not laugh a little. (also... what kind of beans?) 
"No... Mr. Jacobs said I was best in the class." of course he did. and why does Mr. Jacobs have a normal last name but your last name is KOBLE?

"We-ell!" calm down. Mr. Koble rang out. "Good for you, Leah!"

Leah smiled. "Pass the potatoes, please."

Mrs. Koble slid the bowl her way. "Tell me, sweetie, what did you learn in history class?"

Leah groaned silently. that seems impossible. She wanted to keep quiet so that she could have room to think about Arrow.

"Uh, about the defeat of the Spanish Armada... I think," Leah replied.

"Quite interesting that was," Mr. Koble approved, cutting off a piece of pork chop. okay, great, now we have all the details about what they're having for dinner. what's for dessert? "I loved reading about that so much when I was a kid, I went searching the libraries just so I could learn more about it."

"That's interesting, Dad," Leah said. Personally, she didn't know how anything about the Spanish Armada could be interesting. "Um, may I be excused?" but you just got a second helping of potatoes!

Mrs. Koble nodded. "Yes, dear."

Leah jumped up and grabbed an apple from the fridge. oh, apples for dessert.

"Heavens!" heavens! Mrs. Koble exclaimed. "You've just eaten a hearty meal. Whatever do you need an apple for?"

"Uh, a science project," Leah lied, bursting out the door before anyone could object. honestly, Mrs. Koble is pretty stupid if she believes this. what tween girl in any story tries to sneak an apple out of the house and isn't secretly harboring a horse?
Once outside, Leah breathed a sigh of relief and headed to the woods.

      ***

"Hello, my beautiful one!" Leah greeted Arrow. She held out the apple, and the horse gobbled it up greedily. Leah sighed. "I'm going to have to find you some real food if you're going to stay here," she announced. I just want to say that I was trying to type this story up really fast and I wasn't really looking, and when I came back and read this part the EXACT thing I had typed for that last line was ":U;n giubg ti gave ti fubd yiy sine reak fiid uf tiy;re giubg ti stat gere," she announced." and to think I took a keyboarding class in high school.

Suddenly, Leah heard a distant voice calling her name.

Leah honestly, why do I reuse her name so often? groaned. "That's my mom. I have to work on a death trap called homework." her mom realized nobody does a science project on an apple out in the middle of the woods. She gave him a kiss on the nose.

      ***

Leah woke to a strange sound. is it hooves against metal again? She heard a shotgun going off outside. A sick feeling washed over her. What if somebody was shooting at Arrow? Had he escaped?

Alarmed, she jumped out of bed and pulled on a pair of sneakers. I really want to know why I even used the word "sneakers" here. I've literally never called my shoes sneakers. I always called them tennis shoes. guess I was trying to fit in with the cool kids. Then she ran outside into the dark night.

"Dad!" she called to the dark figure standing by the shed. "Dad, what's going on?"

"There's a horse," Mr. Koble replied grimly. "Black as night. Shot at it." man, this story turns dark here.

Leah held her breath. "Why?"

"It was trying to kick the shed down." HOLD UP. you're telling me you saw a horse kicking the wall of your old shed and you tried to SHOOT it??? buddy. chill. somebody give this guy some hot tea or something. now I understand why Leah was glad he wasn't home when Arrow showed up. His voice was tight. what happened to that weird overly enthustiastic guy at the dinner table??
Leah's heart skipped a beat. "What happened?"

"Bullet seemed to run right through him." Mr. Koble sounded confused. "Leah, that horse was a ghost."

Leah had to grasp onto her father's arm to keep from falling. "But, Dad," she said, "A ghost?" whoo. award-winning dialogue, right there.

Mr. Koble pushed her back. "Get down!" oh my gosh. this just turned into a war story. he yelled, focusing his gun.

Then Leah saw it. A pitch-black, yet transparent horse stood before them. Mr. Koble held up his gun. didn't he literally just do that a second ago when he focused the thing?

"Dad, no!" Leah screamed. his shed would be avenged.

But Mr. Koble shot.

Just like he said before, the bullet went straight the ghostly figue. The horse was unfazed.

      ***

"Several people have reported a 'ghost horse' to have shown up in their yard," the news lady announced. apparently the news lady just showed up in the yard, too, because I certainly didn't give y'all any warning she was coming. "It seems unbelievable, but it's true. In fact, we even have some pictures."

Leah recognized the horse on the TV screen. No doubt, it was Arrow. The white marking on his foreheard this was an ACTUAL typo in the magazine was unmistakeable. But Leah wondered how this could be. Yesterday, Arrow was normal.

Leah jumped up.

"Where are you going, honey?" Mrs. Koble asked. to work on her apple forest science project.

"Outside!" Leah answered. She grabbed a bag of stale bread because everybody keeps a bag of stale bread lying around and a carrot and ran outside. Leah ran as fast as he could into the woods. She ran until she could see the shed looming ahead of her. Panting, she burst through the door.

"Arrow!" she gasped. "You're here!" why did she bring the food if she didn't expect him to be here??

Arrow looked at her in surprise. why did he come back if he didn't expect her to visit??
"How did you do that, boy?" Leah sighed. She opened the bread and held out a piece. Arrow ate heartily. "It's not much," Leah said, sitting on the floor, "But it's food." She dumped the bag out on the floor. As Leah literally, we know her name by now. sat there, watching Arrow eat, several thoughts swept through her mind Why? How? When? They were all unexplained. as is what these questions are actually asking. when what? when was Arrow born? when did Leah's dad go so psycho?

Finally, Arrow finished and lay down. Leah offered him the carrot. "I'd better go," she said, shivering. She stood up. "See you, Arrow."

      ***

For three nights, no sightings of a ghost horse were reported. Leah's mind eased a bit.

But one Saturday night, Leah ran to the shed in the woods these parents are terrible at keeping an eye on their child to say good night to Arrow. "Night, kiddo," I guarantee you I read some horse book where someone calls a horse "kiddo" and stole that idea because no other way would I have come up with that she said, hugging the black shape. "See ya tomorrow." As she left the shed, a warm feeling came over her. She had a horse. Even if it was secret, she had a horse.

Suddenly, a hot light burned her back. Leah spun around. The shed was glowing. Arrow, transparent as ever transparent as ever?! he literally wasn't transparent a half a second ago!,  was galloping striaght through the walls!

"Arrow!" Leah gasped. "You are a ghost horse!" imagine that. thought you already came to that conclusion, dummy.
Arrow turned to look at her. A word on his leg shone like a scar. what? why? "Leeto," Leah whispered. "So that's your real name." yeah, I would also assume that this random foreign word that just burned itself into this horse's leg is his name. NOT.

Tears stung her eyes. She knew that Arrow would never come back.

But suddenly, she was happy. wow, way to bounce back, girl. Leeto okay, kid, make up your mind. is he Arrow or Leeto to you?? was meant to be free.

that was THE most abrupt ending I've ever read in my life.

***

I have... some questions.

number one being WHY DID SOMEBODY PUBLISH THIS

Number one: WHO WAS THAT GUY WITH THE ARROW?? Why was he shooting the poor horse? Did he know he was a ghost horse? How? And if so why was he so determined to kill him?

Number two: Is Leah's dad prepared for the lawsuits he's going to have piled up when he shoots somebody's horse someday because it kicked a wall?

Number three: Why did Leeto/Arrow/whatever the heck stay with Leah for four days and then decide it was time to leave? Did he accomplish something in that time other than terrifying the neighborhood and making Leah think she had a horse now?

Number four: What EXACTLY was the moral of the story??

I can't, guys. xD

Well, anyway. Ahem. I hope you guys enjoyed reading that trainwreck. I might turn this into a series, with whatever super-old stories of mine that I can find. Brace yourselves.

Have you ever reacted to any of your old stories? What's the most ridiculous/funny thing in an old work of yours? Also, HOW'S YOUR FALL GOING??? Because it's officially fall now!! Are you a pumpkin spice latte fan? What's your favorite fall drink/snack? LET'S JUST TALK LITERALLY EVERYTHING FALL!!