REALM MAKERS 2025

Hello, friends!

 

Once again, Realm Makers has come and gone. It’s almost worse than saying goodbye to Christmas. It’s funny, because every year it’s like it gets easier to see it end yet at the same time it’s harder.

 

Anyway, I haven’t actually done a RM recap post since 2022. Here, have a cookie to distract you from that fact. *brandishes plate of cookies* But for this, my fifth Realm Makers, I shall present you with a recap. (Seriously, these are so fun to do, so why did I stop??) Also ignore the fact that it’s literally September and I’m just now doing this. (look, another plate of cookies!)

 

Okay, first, if somehow you don’t know what Realm Makers is: it’s a writer’s conference for Christians who write speculative fiction (aka, all the weird stuff). And it’s amazing. I’ve been so incredibly blessed to have been able to attend for the past five years, and every year it feels like coming home.

 

This year, it was actually considerably further from home. XD Three out of the five years I’ve gone, Realm Makers has been held in St. Louis, which is only about an hour’s drive from my house. But this year, for the first time, it was held in Grand Rapids, Michigan—around 9 hours away. Still a lot closer than Atlantic City (*all the Realmies who attended the 2022 conference collectively inhale at the mention of that place*), but, well, further than normal.

 

This year was also different in that it was the first ever Realm Makers Expo—which basically just means that in addition to the conference, there was also some fun convention-type stuff going on over in the exhibition hall. You know the vendor hall/bookstore where we all spend way too much money? Yeah, that place. They not only had all the vendors as usual, but a few fun activities for those only attending the Expo.

 

The scheduling was different this year, too, which I’ll get into a little more later, but to begin with it means that our journey began on Thursday morning. By “our” I mean me, my brother Richard, and my sister Crystal. (We have another sister, too, and she’s also a writer, but she’s never attended RM or shown her face on social media. Over on Instagram she’s affectionately known as “the Hidden One”. XD) We headed out around 6:30 in the morning, and in the afternoon made a stop in Logansport, Indiana, to check out the Batman Museum, where there was a replica of the Batcave from the old Adam West show.

 

One of many Batmobile replicas built by the museum owner!

The Batcave!

The Batpoles!

We got to Grand Rapids sometime that evening, and the weather was SOO nice. We left sweltering Missouri and drove into cool, breezy Michigan, and the change in temperature was so refreshing. The hotel and conference center were literally right next to the Grand River, so although it did warm up over the weekend, it still stayed pretty nice, which I LOVED.

 

Anyway, checking into the hotel and everything was pretty quick and easy (not to keep bringing this up, but again, a vast difference from Atlantic City—our stressful arrival, check-in, and waiting for our lost luggage to make its way to our room has kind of scarred us), and after we were all settled in I went out to dinner with my sister and a small group of her Quill & Flame friends. (Quill & Flame = my sister’s publisher) We picked up food from Panera (would it be Realm Makers without Panera??) and found a spot overlooking the river to eat. WHAT a gorgeous view. This was honestly one of the nicest parts of the weekend—the river, the nice weather, the sun setting, the conversation, and just the general excitement of being in a new city with the whole conference to look forward to. It was a fantastic way to start it all off.

Saw a dragon on the walk to get dinner!

Me and my sister by the river

SOO pretty.

Friday is when the scheduling differences really started to throw us off. Whereas in previous years the pre-conference was on Thursday morning and the official conference opening was that same evening, this year the pre-conference was pushed to Friday morning, the opening was that afternoon, and the Realm Awards banquet was that evening. Like I said, a lot to get used to, and I wasn’t 100% sold on it. But it is what it is, and it was still a great time. It was just super strange going into the first official day and knowing the banquet would already be over with that night.

 

Honestly, that day is kind of a blur, so here are some random pictures from Friday. Enjoy. XD

The hotel was so beautiful! This was just one of the many photo-op-worthy spots inside.

Having breakfast outside while watching the city wake up, feeling like I was in a Hallmark movie or something. 

The skywalk we took to get from the hotel to the conference center!

The Quill & Flame table with my sister's beautiful books!

The conference center looked like it came out of a Marvel movie or something. XD

 

We had a great opening keynote by S.D. Smith, then it was time to start getting ready for the costume banquet! This year I went as…

 Lenore Dove from Sunrise on the Reaping!

 

I haven’t actually talked about it here (because I haven’t talked about anything here in like a year XD), but basically I read SOTR right after it came out and it took over my life and shattered my heart in a billion teeny-tiny pieces. I had another costume idea brewing in my mind for a while, but it just wasn’t working out, so after I read the book this popped into my head and it was pretty easy to put together. I even brought a tunebox and a bag of gumdrops. (Oops. Sorry ‘bout the trauma.)

And here’s a little photo dump from the evening.

 

Me as Lenore Dove, my sister as a pirate, and my brother as... a guy who couldn't be bothered to wear a costume.

With Sarah!

With Helena!

Helena with her Most Honorable Mention certificate for her story Questing Hall!

Finally got to meet Verity Buchanan! (if you haven't read her books, The Ceristen series, you should!)

With Cassie! ("I brought gumdrops." "HOW COULD YOU???")

 

Saturday was the first full day of classes, and again, thinking back it’s all kind of a blur, so mainly I’m just going to share pictures. XD I took a continuing session with Ronie Kendig and Kathy Tyers on science fiction—very good, although I did duck out of one of the sessions to take a nap because I was #tired. I also took Sarah Arthur’s class on getting your writing done—something I definitely needed.

 

Saturday evening, instead of having a book festival like in previous years, there was just a big book signing with all the Realm Awards finalists. It was fine, but not having the actual book festival was one of the biggest bummers of the weekend. It’s always been like the last hurrah of the weekend, the time when everyone’s in the same room together and you can talk to anyone you haven’t gotten a chance to talk to yet, or say your goodbyes to those who are about to leave, and not having it just felt like a big hole. I’m really hoping they bring it back next year!

 

Aaand now for pictures.

 

With Trissina Kear, who is the absolute sweetest!

Finally met Deborah O'Carroll after YEARS of following each other online! :D

It is always such a delight to see Nadine Brandes, and this year it was an extra-special delight to gush with her about the new special-edition Out of Time hardcovers.

 

Don't ask. I don't know.

Sunday morning they held a worship service for the first time ever—and it was one of my very favorite parts of the weekend. Oh, how special it was to be in a room with so many other likeminded creatives, worshipping the God Who allowed this whole conference to be, Who weaved all of our stories together and gave us this passion for writing. It was just wonderful.

Realm Makers, the only place where there's a unicorn on the big screen at a church service. :P

Closing keynote by N.D. Wilson. He's the kind of person you just want to sit and listen to and soak in every word. SO good.

With Anna! (Don't ask me why I took this picture so crooked. I don't know.)

 

My only class that day (technically I had two, but I skipped one to take some time to rest) was a class by Donald Maass, on writing great beginnings. This was one of the most fruitful parts of the conference for me, simply because while I was sitting in that class I thought up a new opening line for my book. Like, a really good one (at least I think so). It’s so cool how even in moments when you’re not necessarily trying to come up with ideas, just talking to someone or being in a class where you’re surrounded by so much creativity and inspiration can be like a magic formula. Anyway, if you ever have the opportunity to attend a Donald Maass class, you should do it at least once. He really gets you thinking about how to strengthen your story.

 

That evening I went to dinner with my sister and another group of her publisher friends, and had some of the best food of my life in a really weird restaurant with skeletons all over the walls. XD Then later we went to an ice cream shop with my brother and his friends and had some of the best ice cream ever. (I ate a LOT of good food over the weekend...)

Because ice cream is ALWAYS worth posting.

 

We left on Monday morning, and stopped on the way to briefly see Lake Michigan. I only got to take a few pictures from the car, but wow, it was so pretty. It was kind of misty and foggy, so the lake looked really eerie. (Wait… wrong Great Lake. XD)

Lake Michigan

One of the biggest blessings of the trip came on this day, when we were able to visit with Nicole for a little while on our way home. Honestly, though I saw lots of awesome people at RM and had a good time, I didn't get much chance to REALLY talk to people a lot or hang out with anybody (other than tagging along with my sister) and for a lot of the conference I ended up feeling kind of lonely. Getting to visit with Nicole even for just a short time was a perfect way to end the weekend, and I’m so glad we got to do it. : )

And that’s my Realm Makers recap! It’s a bit of a mess, but oh well. At least I actually did one this year. XD Although in some ways this Realm Makers felt a bit different, one of the biggest standouts to me was just the beautiful way the Lord has drawn this community together, and allowed us to have this conference. He’s blessed this conference and the connections that have grown out of it so, so abundantly, and it’s just so humbling and beautiful. God cares, guys. He cares about our stories, and our ideas, and our weirdness. And He does things like this to show that.

 

Oh, how special Realm Makers is. And oh, how blessed I have been to be able to attend not just once, but five times now. Next year it’s once again returning to St. Louis (seriously, how did I get so blessed as to live so close to the most frequent RM city?? Seriously so, so thankful), but in a new venue! So, I’m excited to not only be able to return, but also to explore the new location. If there’s a chance I’ll see you there, let me know!!

 

And that’s a wrap! Thank y’all for reading, and as always, thanks for still coming back to my ramblings even when it’s been months or longer since I posted. I was going to say something about how I’m hoping to start posting more again, but, well, I say that every time and never do, so I’m not going to say it this time and if I start posting again it’ll just be a nice surprise. XD

 

All right, I’m gonna shut up for real this time. Love you guys! < 3

 

 

SEPTEMBER 2024 wrapup!

Greetings, friends!

 

As I’m writing this, it’s a gray, chilly fall day and it’s pouring outside. PERFECT weather. I love it. *all the summer/sunshine lovers start throwing tomatoes at me so I catch them and turn them into tomato soup which is perfect for this perfect fall day* *thank you*

 

I can’t believe September is over?? The fall months I look forward to so excitedly always go by so quickly and it makes me sad. But it’s been quite a warm fall here so far, so I’m hoping with October will come some cooler temperatures. ANYWAY. I thought I’d do a little September wrapup. (My first monthly wrapup in… like two years, I think??) So, I’ll go ahead and proceed into that before I keep rambling about the weather. XD

 

you don’t get any cute section headers in this post because they’re all saved on my old laptop and I don’t feel like getting them right now XD plus my internet is really bad right now so no photos of the things I'm talking about either hahahaha

 

READING

 

So, uh… I kind of went reading-crazy this month. Like, every time I told my sister I’d started a new book she responded with “you already finished *insert title of whatever book I’d just been reading*????” I set a goal of reading 50 books this year, then when September came, I was very, very far behind. And I don’t know if it was that, or the reading bug randomly biting me again, or the fact that I was reading really good books, or what, but I read six books this month. Which is more than I’ve done in a whiiiile. (it’s almost as many as I read all last year. XD)

 

FROM DARKNESS WON by Jill Williamson // 5 stars // I read the first two books a while back and was kind of dreading this one just because of the SIZE of it and the fact that I’d been reading so slowly and didn’t want to get hung up again. But I think I read it in three days. XD I really enjoyed this final book of the Blood of Kings trilogy.

 

MORTAL QUEENS and LETHAL KINGS by Victoria McCombs // 4 stars // I received an eARC of Lethal Kings, so I read Mortal Queens to prepare. And I ended up loving these books!! They were the first I’ve read from this author, so I didn’t really know what to expect, but I really loved her writing style and all the characters. I genuinely enjoyed and got invested in these books more than any books I’d read in a while. (Book 2 broke my heart and shattered my soul, though, so. There’s that. I would have thrown it across the room if I hadn’t been reading on my Kindle*.) I had a few issues with some things toward the end, but overall I just really loved the world, the characters, the stakes, and I would definitely read these again.

 

LYDIA GREEN OF MULBERRY GLEN by Millie Florence // 3.5 stars // I’ve had this book on my shelf for a while, but what perfect timing to pick it up because it was a lovely fallish book! I actually didn’t know this was a fantasy until I started reading, so that was a pleasant little treat. I loved this book and so related to Lydia’s struggles with change. It was a very cute story, but also deeper than I expected it to be. Definitely recommend for a quick fall read!

 

LIGHTSHED by Crystal D. Grant // 5 stars // The FEELS. It’s always hard to top first books in a series, but I think this one beat book 1 for me. I wish I could tell you about a certain scene that just absolutely stole my heart, but alas… spoilers. (So… you need to read book 1 and then book 2 so we can talk about it. Okay? Okay.)

 

PRINCESS ACADEMY by Shannon Hale // 3.5 stars // This was another  cute, cozy story that was perfect for fall! Side note: have any of you guys seen the movie Courage Mountain? Because there were some uncanny similarities in this book that I’m curious if anyone else noticed. :P

 

*I got a Kindle!! I’ve been thinking about getting one for a while, mainly for the purpose of reading eARCS because trying to read on my laptop or my phone is really annoying. So, I did the thing and bought the Kindle, and though I haven’t used it much yet, I have no regrets. (I also found that I seemed to read much faster on it than I do with a physical book?? I’d read like 50 pages and it felt like nothing. Not sure of the science behind this. XD)

 

WRITING

 

In terms of writing, I did no writing. *whoops*

 

But honestly, I think this break was needed. I felt a little guilty at the beginning of the month for reading so ravenously and neglecting my own book, but I think my creative well needed filled back up. I was overwhelmed with some changes and different things in my WIP and kind of dreading getting back to it because of that (kinda still am, oopsies), so I just let myself forget about it for a while and fill myself with stories. And after reading so little for… well, heck, the past couple of years, it was really refreshing.

 

But now, I’m just about ready to get back to work, and I’m hoping to jump back into Look for the Flares full-force in October.* There’s still a looot of work to be done to tighten this story up, which became obvious in July when so many people at Realm Makers asked what I was working on and I realized that in terms of being able to describe it in a quick pitch, I really didn’t know what this book was about. XD (Flashback to when I was having a conversation with Sara Ella and she asked me about my book and I nervously laughed and rambled on for I don’t know how long while she just smiled and nodded… God bless you, Sara, because I know that was painful to listen to. XD)

 

*At least… I think I am. The other day I randomly started missing the craziness of writing a new book every November and kinda sorta considering putting aside my current WIP to write an idea that I’ve had for a couple years… so, yeah. We’ll see where I go from here. *smiles nervously*)

 

LIFE

 

So, this actually happened a few months ago, but I haven’t mentioned it here yet: I joined the Havok hive! AKA, the volunteer team behind the epic Havok Publishing. It’s been a little nerve-wracking and overwhelming at times—starting new things is not my strong point and I’ve definitely been tempted to throw in the towel already—but it feels good knowing I’m pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and getting some experience in different things.

~~

 

I saw for King & Country live, and it was AMAZING.

 

I’ve been to a few concerts now, and this one just MIGHT have been my favorite. Those guys put on a heck of a show, and they’re so talented, but my main takeaway was the HEART behind it. Their music is so uplifting and encouraging, and their love for people and Jesus is so clear. And being in a room with thousands of other believers, seeing people all around the venue with their hands raised to praise God, hearing the songs written to glorify Him… it was unmatched.

 

One of the absolutely best parts: I got to hear Fix My Eyes live. I talked a few years ago about how I fell in love with that song and how important it is to me, and I almost cried hearing it live. Oh, I’d love to go back and experience that moment again because it was just incredible.

 

I hope to see them in concert again in the future, because this was definitely one of my favorite memories ever. I was already feeling nostalgic for it the next morning. XD

 

 

I hit a full year of reading my Bible every day without missing. This is a little random, but it’s something I’m proud of. For years I’d been slacking off on my Bible reading. Like, REALLY slacking off. I’d go days, weeks, sometimes a month or more without opening it. So, last fall I decided that no matter what, I was going to read at least something every day, and write down what I read. Sometimes I’d fill up several pages with notes, and sometimes I’d just zombie-read a chapter before bed to get it in. But every day for a year, in some form or another, I picked it up and read it. Some days I didn’t retain a single word, but I was building a habit. And I’m glad I did.

 

I think a year I was in 2 Kings; currently I’m going through Ezekiel! Because I struggle to focus and comprehend, I’ve been using the commentaries on the Enduring Word website to help me soak in what I’m reading, and taking notes as I go. It’s really helped me to feel like I’m actually learning and not just skimming over chapters. (It’s crazy how you can read the same stories your whole life, maybe multiple times, and still not really know what you’re even reading until you take the time to study it.)

 

BLOGGING

 

Well, nothing happened (XD), except my blog turned five years old! I was going to do something to celebrate, but, alas, time got away from me once again so the anniversary passed quietly. But I still want to THANK YOU, my lovely readers, for being here, whether from day one or you just discovered my little corner of the Internet. The blogosphere truly changed my life (and writing that sentence really made me realize just how MUCH), and I’m forever grateful that God allowed me to stumble across it. Thank you for reading my thoughts and rambles, even when they’re few and far between. I love you all and this community so dearly. < 3

 

So… that’s it! I hope you all are having a lovely fall so far, and I look forward to catching up in the comments. (I have several ideas for posts that I really want to write, so hopefully it won’t be as long between posts this time!) Happy October!

I don't know what to post so here's a mid-year life update I guess

I mean… the title pretty much says it all.

 

Basically, I miss posting and I miss you all but really have no idea what to post about. I’ve lost the blogging groove. *sad audience noises* So, I decided to just share a little bit of what I’ve been up to lately. (emphasis on the “little bit” because I really haven’t been up to much. XD) Anyway. Here’s some things I’ve done this year. With no pictures because reasons.

 

In April, I saw Celtic Woman live! This was a fairly longtime bucket list item for me (although I didn’t remember that until afterwards, lol), and it was a beautiful experience. I went with my brother and one of my sisters, our seats were SUPER good, and we enjoyed every minute. (In fact, we plan to see them again on their Christmas tour later this year!)

 

I got a new laptop!! My previous laptop was almost seven years old, and was definitely showing signs of age. As in, doing things like turning on but not turning ON. (I know it doesn’t make any sense. Be glad you don’t know what I mean.) I kept putting it off and off and off because I don’t like spending money, but, well, it was time. And so, I’m typing this from my new laptop. It’s a lot smaller than I’m used to but I’m GETTING used to it, and I’m just glad I have one that works. Oh, and when I said I wasn't putting any pictures in this post because reasons, the reasons are that I don't have any of them on my new computer yet. XD

 

I cancelled my pitch appointment at Realm Makers. Which was a little disappointing to have to do, if I’m being totally honest, because I WAS looking forward to the experience. But while having that sort of deadline was absolutely fantastic for my motivation, even with the extra boost I realized that my book just wasn’t going to be ready to pitch. (Unfortunately, with the cancelled appointment also came cancelled motivation. XD) By next year, though, I plan to be in much better shape with this story and hopefully will give pitching another shot!

 

I reread Dust by Kara Swanson. Which isn’t a huge happening in itself, but it reminded me how little I reread books and how important it is. I feel like we often hesitate to reread books because we have sooo many books on our TBR that we want to get to and we feel like we’re wasting time if we read something again. But do that too much and it kind of takes the joy out of it. Reading your favorite books again really helps reawaken your love of reading and silences thoughts of statistics. Especially when it’s as fantastic a book as Dust.

 

I went to the Superman Celebration in Metropolis, Illinois and met Kristin Kreuk, aka Lana Lang from Smallville! She was super nice, and said she liked my phone case. :)

 

I’ve been watching Avatar: The Last Airbender! I watched the first few episodes a few years ago but couldn’t find the rest of the series (shoutout to shifty websites with empty promises). I bought the whole series a while back, so I recently started over and have been slowly making my way through it. I think I’m almost done with season 1? And yes, I’m thoroughly enjoying it. I also think it’s one of the funniest TV shows I’ve ever seen. XD

 

I got back into working on Look for the Flares! Which, honestly, I’ve probably said lots of times by now and anyone who follows me is probably wondering how many times I’m going to accidentally take a break from this book. But, well, like I said, when I cancelled my pitch appointment and had no sense of deadline again, I lost a lot of my motivation to write. (whoops.) And it’s not that I don’t WANT to, because I am absolutely still as into this book as I’ve ever been and want to see it finished. I’ve just been so overwhelmed with what all I need to do with it lately, and it’s a challenge to jump back in and know where I left off from last time I opened the document. (Probably a good reason not to be lazy and neglect your WIP for weeks at a time.) But I managed to weasel my way back in without feeling like Gandalf.

 

 It’s not the first draft but IS still pretty rough, as I’ve gone back over it multiple times this year changing little things and big things and just really making a mess of it but somehow making it better in the meantime? Anyway, I’ve gone through almost the whole book with those changes and I actually think that story-wise, it’s in pretty good shape right now. I just need to wrangle my climax into something that makes sense and then I can tighten the whole thing up. (I’m hopeful that in a few months I’ll be able to start looking for beta readers… so stay tuned. ;)) I’ve said it probably a lot of times before: I love this story with my whole heart and I cannot wait for it to hopefully be in your hands someday.

 

 There’s one more thing I’m looking forward to sharing with you, but not just yet! It’s not really a secret, but it’s also not “public” yet, so I’ll just wait until everything’s a little more set in stone. But I’m really excited about it, and I can’t wait to share! :)

 

And… I think that’s about it. Right now my main focuses are getting ready for Realm Makers (I ALMOST have my costume finished and I can’t wait to show you guys!!) in LESS THAN A MONTH (WHAT) and saving money because there are tons of things I want to do. XD (Some people are still waiting for their Hogwarts letter, but I’m just waiting for someone to tell me I’m actually a princess and have inherited an estate or something. Your girl’s broke.) I do hope to be a little more present here, and what with Realm Makers happening very soon I’ll likely have a little more to talk about. But regardless- thank you as always for reading my ramblings, and I can’t wait to talk to you soon! < 3

I don't know what this post is // HI!

*flies over in a helicopter and rappels down Kim Possible-style*

*drops to the ground and lifts sunglasses*

Well, hey, strangers.

Okay, that was probably a little dramatic, but I've been trying to figure out how to open this post and also what this post even is, and go big or go home, right? So, here I am, once again (feeling lost but now and then-) returning to this blog that's all but dead. (It's been almost a year since I posted. o.o) 

I've said it before and I'm not too proud to admit it again- I don't know why I haven't been posting. I don't have an excuse, other than being lazy and/or bad at time management. I stopped posting regularly back in 2020 when I started college, but now I've been graduated for almost a year and still this little corner of the Internet of mine that I used to love so much (and still do!) sits with dust on it.

I've felt so detached from the voracious writer and reader I used to be. I go in and out of being involved in the writing community, posting/engaging on Instagram or on the blogosphere, and, oh yeah, actually writing and reading. Why? I don't know. It's not like I've gone through a lot of life changes throwing me off track. 

To be honest, I've had many days lately of feeling very lonely and discouraged. I struggle with feeling invisible, like no one really cares what I have to say or what's going on with me and that's why I barely get any engagement on my blog and Instagram. And along with that, I also feel a boatload of guilt, because I know deep down those things aren't true and there are lots of people who care, so then I feel horrible and selfish for not recognizing that. Then I just stay in my little hole of discouragement, not wanting to bother anybody and feeling like there's no point in trying. 

Okay, sorry for getting depressing there for a minute. That's all hard to admit, because I'm NOT good at opening up at all, and hate feeling like I'm seeking attention. But I guess that's a big part of why I've been so absent for so long. My motivation and energy to do ANYTHING has just been at an all time low. I truly do want to get back into blogging and just being involved in the community like I once was. I've allowed myself to get so far off track with everything and I desperately want to change that.

I've also severely neglected my relationship with God for a long, long time. I'm not proud to admit that I've let other things stand in the way of the singular most important part of my life. And then I dare to wonder why I feel so distant from Him. *facepalm* This is something I'm working on, and it's a slow, hard journey. But I know it's worth it, and it's necessary. There are so many things in my life that I desperately need His guidance for, and I've allowed myself to be distracted from His face and His will for too long.

I've also discovered something really unpleasant about myself lately: I really don't like the person I've become. I have an attitude. I allow my temper, my frustrations to get the better of me FAR too often. Mainly at work, where I interact with a lot of exasperating and, ahem, not super smart people daily. I pull back into my shell with most people, not really because I'm shy, but because I have no interest in talking to anybody but my friends, and in getting through the day and going home where I don't have to talk to anybody. And so instead of being a light for Jesus, I come across as an unapproachable, angry little gremlin (yes, I've actually been called that) and most new people think I hate them. It's been humbling and actually quite terrifying to realize that, and it's something I'm working and praying through because I'm not proud of it at all. No, I don't seek to be rude to people, or make them feel bad, or anything like that. But I think sometimes I do it without realizing it, and it's something I'm trying to be conscious about and change.

I find myself stuck in these bad moods that are almost impossible to find my way out of, and I know that if I just allow myself to be positive, force the dark clouds away, pray, and praise, I can feel better. But I don't, because I like sitting in my misery. I like making it clear that I'm unhappy, even though there's literally nothing the people around me can do to change that. I get angry because I don't feel the joy I used to or see God's hand in my life, but IT'S MY FAULT for not LETTING Him give me joy or work in me. God's not going to just press a magic little button and make me suddenly happy, as if I'm dancing in a field of daisies rather than trying to get through a work day that has me on the edge of a breakdown. He's not going to just rain down peace and contentment because He sees that I'm upset. Sometimes I have to fight for it. And that's another thing I'm really trying to work through.

This post is all over the place. WHOOPS. I just kind of started typing and this is what came out. XD But I MISS you all dearly, and I hope to fall back into something of a rhythm here again. 

Currently what's on my mind is Realm Makers coming up! Summer feels far away, but wow, we're already in April and spring always flies by, doesn't it? I've attended Realm Makers for the past three years, but for some reason this year I'm a little extra excited to get back to it. (Also a little sad, because from what I've heard it's very likely this will be the last year at the magical place that is the Sheraton Westport Plaza hotel :( ) I've also scheduled my first pitch appointment??!! With Steve Laube??!

Honestly, I don't expect anything from this appointment book-deal-wise. It was a bit of an impulsive decision, just a little something to push myself a little bit and get out of my comfort zone. My main incentive for doing this was just to have the experience, get it out of the way, so to speak. But I'm still working to get my book in good enough shape TO pitch. It's actually been going quite well, and for the first time in a long time I feel like I'm making good progress on my WIP. Prayers for that are appreciated, as well as for the appointment itself being a good experience!

*taps head like Winnie the Pooh* I think that's all I have to say! If you've gotten to the end of this mess, thank you for sticking around. I know I mainly just dumped out all my emotions and frustrations on you, but, well, I guess sometimes you've just got to get it all out there and that's another thing I'm working on. I hope you're all doing well, having a great spring, and I'll talk to you all soon! (Let me know in the comments what you've been up to/how you've been!)