AT ALL COSTS- Realm Awards finalist!!

HELLO FRIENDS! Long time no see, but I wanted to pop in and share with you some super exciting news- my story At All Costs is a Realm Awards finalist in the Short Audio category!!

At All Costs was originally published with Havok in November 2021, but was featured on the Havok Story Podcast in May 2022. (Actually, the finalists were announced the day after the episode's one-year anniversary!) It was so surreal then to hear MY story being read by a narrator, and to know that it was chosen to be featured on the podcast. And now, it's surreal to see it on the list on Realm Awards finalists. (Someone tagged me on IG with some other finalists and when I saw my name included with some of my favorite authors?? Ummmm, yeah. I geeked out.)

Of COURSE I have to give a huge shout-out to Maximilian Contreras, the narrator who brought my story to life so amazingly, and obviously the people behind Havok and the podcast for seeing my story fit to produce as an audio story in the first place. This was definitely a team effort and I'm so thankful for everyone involved.

Congratulations to the rest of the amazing finalists, both in my category and all the others!! I can't wait to celebrate with you at Realm Makers- in just over TWO MONTHS! (hello?? how is it almost here again??)

And as always, thank you all so much for your support for me and my writing. It means the world and inspires me to keep going. I love you all so much. ♥

SHADOWCAST by Crystal D. Grant- cover reveal signups!

Happy Thursday, friends!! I have something super exciting to share with you today.

I don't think I've actually mentioned it here on the blog yet, but at Realm Makers back in July, something really special happened. My sister, Crystal, signed a book contract!

Her novel, Shadowcast, is coming out this September 20th with Quill and Flame Publishing House! Shadowcast is the first book in The Gateway trilogy, an epic fantasy series you're not going to want to miss. This has been such a long time coming; I've watched my sister work so hard on this story for so long and I'm so happy it's finally going out into the world. 

Here's the fun part- I'm excited to share that cover reveal signups are now open!! If you want to participate, sign up here! (Yes, I've already seen the cover, and YES, it will take your breath away. So, shoo. *shoos you toward the signup form*)

Also, go add Shadowcast on Goodreads! Here's the link!

Everyone help me get the word out and allll the excitement brewing for this cover reveal and upcoming release!! It's going to be so, so good! 

On being stuck

Anyone here feeling stuck?

I've felt stuck for quite some time now. In a lot of ways, as I'm sure many of us do. But more specifically, I've felt stuck in my writing, blogging, reading. In the writer community in general. All of these things have suffered over the past two years, and though at times it was necessary to push them back for a little while, that particular season of my life is over. And I'm still stuck. 

I've struggled with finding things to post about on Instagram lately. I want desperately to be as active as I used to be, to see my account grow, to be involved. But because I've felt so creatively dry and burned out lately... I have nothing to talk about. What is there to say when you're a bookstagrammer/writer who's been reading a book a month at the most and has barely made any writing progress? I talk about my personal life sometimes too, but that's not the primary reason I'm there. I'm there to talk about stories.

But I'm stuck. 

And in order to get unstuck, I have to put in a lot of work. And that's the problem.

It's good work, yes. And enjoyable. (most of the time.) I have to force myself to pick up a book and read sometimes. That sounds bad ("don't force yourself to do things you don't want to do!"), but even though getting through the first chapters feels like trudging through mud, I always find that once I break through that wall, my love for reading wakes up and I can't get enough. I suppose my mind has grown lazy, and it's just so much easier when I'm tired at the end of the day to stare at a screen rather than immerse myself in reading a story. So, my screen time vastly outweighs my reading time. And I'm actually really ashamed to have had to write that sentence. 

And as far as writing... I'm stuck there too. I have this whole first draft, much more well-written than my other first drafts, that's just waiting for me to work some magic on it. I've read through it a couple times and written down the things that need fixing. I know most of what needs fixing, and I have a pretty good idea of what needs to happen to fix it. But every time I open my laptop to work on it, I get, you guessed it, stuck. My brain ties itself in knots and I get so overwhelmed because I don't know where to start. I'm very scatterbrained, so how can I approach this in a way that will keep my thoughts and the story organized? Should I go back to the beginning and read through the book again? Should I start writing the scenes that I know need inserted, or fix the scenes that are already there that just need tweaking? 

I don't know, so I don't do anything. And so for months I've remained stuck. 

I'm also stuck with blogging. Once upon a time I was overflowing with ideas and potential blog posts, and I have no desire to stop blogging, but I'm at a loss. It's the same way with Instagram. I LOVE posting there, but having consumed or produced so few stories lately, what can I talk about?  

Hopefully you haven't read this far expecting this post to turn inspirational, because, OOPS, that's not what this is. It's more of a... "if you feel this way, you're not alone" post. An "I needed to talk about this or I'll implode" post. 

I can't seem to get myself out of the cycle of deciding to change my habits, work hard, do the things I love and the things I need to do; going strong for about three days; and then going right back into my old habits again. I might just be at the least disciplined I've ever been right now. And it's infuriating, because I know why.

I wanted to make this year one of hard work, of getting things done, of seeing progress. In some ways I'm doing that. In other ways I have so far to go, because I don't want to put in the work. 

Honestly, I think part of my problem is that I haven't quite figured out the balance between letting myself rest when I need it, and gritting my teeth and doing the thing. I loosened my grip on some things when I started college, and now I'm finding it difficult to get ahold of them again. It's not always pleasant realizing the things you need to change and the effort you're going to have to put into changing them. It's uncomfortable. It's not fun. 

Like I said, this isn't an "I figured it all out and here's the recipe, you're welcome" post. I definitely am not unstuck yet. But I'm trying to get there. And maybe I won't ever fully be out of the unstuckness, but little by little I'm working through it. 

I hesitate to even post this because it's not super encouraging, or helpful, or positive. But, hey, it's real. It's where I'm at right now, and I guess if you're here that means you're at least somewhat interested in what's going on in my life. Or maybe this resonated with you and you just needed a reminder that you're not the only one struggling with this. 

For some reason, as I was wrapping up this post, I went back to one of my old blog posts, A Letter to My Future Self. I knew I had written a post right before I started college, but I had totally forgotten that it was actually a letter to myself. And as I started reading it, it hit me that I was the intended audience. I wrote that letter to the Emily that had finished college, and that's me. And as I was reading, I started to tear up, because everything I said in it was true. I did cry. I did struggle. I did wonder if it was all worth it. I don't specifically remember throwing anything, but honestly, I'm sure I did. XD And now, looking back on those two and a half years, it really does feel like just a moment. 

It'll be that way with this dry, challenging season eventually. The work I'm dreading putting in will be... well, not a thing of the past, since I'm talking about mainly writing here, and I don't intend on stopping that. But I'll have made progress, put in more effort to kick the procrastination, and regained some of the fire and passion I used to have.

If you're stuck... it's okay. Not to stay there, but to realize that you ARE there. You just need to give yourself a push to get out. ♥

2022- a look back

It's 2023, and therefore time to look back on what happened in 2022. I'm a little late to the game, seeing as how it's almost February already... but it's been a quieter start of the year for me. I went into the new year with guns blazing only theoretically, but as of yet haven't put much actual change into motion. And I'm allowing myself to learn that that's okay. I've been tired for the past two years. I just finished college. The rest of the year is not going to suffer because I start changing things in February rather than January. 

But ANYWAY! Though there are things I wish I would have done differently, 2022 was a full year, and one to remember. Truly, I think there's more to look back on this year than there has been in a while for me, and I hope I can summarize it without rambling too much. But I am a hardcore rambler, so we'll see. XD

JANUARY 

Snow!! So much snow!! I'd much rather be home on a snow day, but this snowfall did bring some warm memories of being bored with my coworkers, and getting frozen mushrooms and potato wedges to cook in our fryers and stuff our faces with.

FEBRUARY

I can't think of much that happened in February, except that my story Falcon Ledge was published with Havok, and I bought Big Time Rush tickets!

MARCH 

I turned 24! And made the ugliest, most mediocre birthday cake of my life, which I won't torture you with a picture of. XD

APRIL

I met Johnny Yong Bosch, who played Adam Park, the Black/Green Ranger from Power Rangers Mighty Morphin, Zeo, and Turbo!

I finished the first draft of my WIP, Look for the Flares! All in the same day, I made myself cry with my writing, broke my word count record for a single day, surpassed my highest word count for any of my WIPs, won Camp NaNo, and of course finished my first draft. It was a good day. 

MAY 

I officially became an MIT (manager in training) at my job, which was SUCH a long time coming. 

My story At All Costs came out on the Havok Story Podcast!! This was such a crazy experience. If you haven't listened to it yet, you should, because the narrator did such an amazing job and I'm still in awe. 

JUNE

I went to the Superman Celebration in Metropolis, Illinois, and saw Tom Welling and Michael Rosenbaum, aka Clark Kent and Lex Luthor from Smallville. They were so much fun together and it definitely put me on the nostalgia train! I also got to meet George Newbern, who played Superman's voice on the Justice League animated series. My favorite part of this interaction was when he asked where I was from and I told him my obscure little town's weird name and that I was sure he'd never heard of it and he said "I haven't, but that's a great name!" XD (I also came out of that day with one of the worst sunburns I've ever had.) 

JULY

July was the biggest month of the year. For one, it was Realm Makers month, in which I attended my second Realm Makers and was reunited with old friends, made new friends, learned a lot, and spent way too much money. I talked to more people than I did my first conference, even got out of my comfort zone and went up to a stranger during one of the classes in which we were supposed to mingle. I met an author who is a big part of why I'm here in this writing community and was able to thank her in person. It was a fantastic weekend. (You can read my recap and see all my photos HERE!)

And because of that trip, I got to see SO many new places! We traveled from Missouri all the way to the East Coast for the conference, which I still can't really believe we did. I got to see nine states I'd never been to before. I visited New York City, saw the Statue of Liberty, and walked through Central Park. I saw the ocean for the second time in my life. I saw Washington D.C. I saw all three 9/11 crash sites. I saw so much and it still hits me every now and then that I did all those things. (I shared more about it HERE!)

In July I also had two more stories published with Havok- An Enhancing Elixir Experience and The Courageous Lyons. These were my first two stories in the Wacky Wednesday and Fantasy Friday categories, and with them I officially became one of a fairly small number of authors who have been published under all five categories!! 

And to wrap up an already great month, the last day of July I saw Big Time Rush in concert, which I'd been dreaming of for literally over a decade, and it was an absolutely amazing, unforgettable night. 

AUGUST

I got COVID again and read five books over the course of like a week and a half. XD

SEPTEMBER

Nothing super interesting about this month that I recall, except fall and Hobbit Day, which was delightful! 

OCTOBER

I met Nakia Burrise, who played Tanya Sloan/the Yellow Ranger on Power Rangers Zeo and Turbo! 

And I started watching Harry Potter for the first time! 

NOVEMBER

We randomly got a thick blanket of snow?? In November?? It's not unheard of for it to snow that early here, but never enough to cover the ground. And I wasn't expecting it at all, so imagine my surprise when I opened the door and looked outside that morning. XD

DECEMBER

I met Catherine Sutherland, who played Katherine Hillard, the Pink Ranger on Power Rangers Mighty Morphin, Zeo, and Turbo!

I finished college! My graduation ceremony's not til May, but I finished and it's SUCH  a relief to be done. 

Aaand I passed my manager certification at work! I was so stressed about this day for so long, and was about 99.9% sure that I was going to fail the first time. Somehow- I still don't know how- I DIDN'T fail, and it was SUCH a huge weight off my shoulders. I'm so thankful that I didn't have that to worry about anymore when the new year started.

So, that was my year. Even with all the fun, exciting things that happened, there was still a lot of room for growth and opportunity. I barely wrote for most of the year, which I can forgive myself for since I was so worn down by other things. 

If I regret anything about 2022, it would be that I neglected reading my Bible and praying possibly like I've never done before, and I'm not proud of it. It's something I'm really working on now. I struggle so much with priorities and focusing on what's really important, and I want to take it way more seriously.

All in all, 2022 was an unforgettable year. In a way, it was a year of the impossible. And I'll forever look back on it fondly. 

As for blogging? Well, I'm still trying to figure things out. I MISS when I was consistent on here, and I miss talking to you guys. Pulling back and posting a handful of times over the course of two years has really messed with my drive to write and post things, and although it was absolutely necessary, I hate what it's done to my blog. I want so desperately to get back into it- not just posting, but reading other people's blogs, too. Blogging is what brought me into this community, and it's changed so much over the years- most of the bloggers I started out reading don't post anymore, and it makes me sad. But I want to keep my little corner alive.

Anyway. Like I said, I'm still figuring things out. I don't know if I'll stick to a schedule like I used to, or what. We'll see. But if you're here- hi. I'm happy you've joined me or stuck around, and I hope you'll come back. < 3 I pray you're all having a blessed new year so far!

Havok Flash Peek weekend!!

 Hello, everyone, and happy new year!! I'll hopefully be getting a 2022 recap post up soon, but for now I wanted to pop in and let you know that this weekend only, Havok's story archives are open to the public! This means that what you normally need a subscription for, you can read to your heart's content for FREE! (but only until Sunday night!)

If you missed either of my stories this season, now's your chance to catch up! Feel free to read any of my stories (you can find them all here), but I'd especially love it if you checked out...

An Enhancing Elixir Experience, a story about a girl, a job interview, and some very helpful (?) elixirs. Oh, and there's a tiger. Read it HERE!

The Courageous Lyons is a new twist on a well-known story (you'll have to read it to find out which one ;), involving a hot air balloon and... friends to lovers? Read it HERE!

I'm sure you all know the drill by now, BUT just in case- these stories are potentially in the running to be included in the next Havok anthology, and the more comments and ratings they receive, the better their chances! So, if you have a few minutes, I'd be honored if you'd check out my stories and leave a comment and, if you happen to be a Havok member, a star rating. Your support means the world and helps my stories so much! 

Thank you all, and I'll see you soon! ♥